Listening Versus Hearing

I’ll never forget a moment early in my career when a team member pulled me aside and said, “I feel like you’re really listening to me.” That comment stuck with me because I realized how rare it is for people to feel truly heard in the workplace. We’ve all sat through meetings, lectures, or alignment sessions where the words go in one ear and out the other. That’s hearing. But listening? That’s something far deeper.

Hearing is passive; it’s easy to nod your head, take notes, and move on. Listening, on the other hand, is intentional. It’s like placing a hand over one ear so your brain can fully process and interpret the words being expressed. It requires focus, patience, and an openness to the message beyond the surface.

True listening involves noticing subtleties beyond the words. Pay attention to posture, facial expressions, tone of voice, even the energy in the room. These nonverbal signals often convey more than the spoken words themselves. A colleague may say they’re fine, but their body language or tone might suggest otherwise. Picking up on these cues allows you to respond authentically and thoughtfully.

Always Be Authentic

Always be authentic when someone would like you to listen to them. Authenticity builds trust because it signals that your attention, concern, and empathy are real. It’s not just about nodding or offering polite acknowledgment; it’s about fully engaging with their perspective and responding thoughtfully.

Use All Your Senses

When you listen, engage all your senses; see, feel, hear deeply, and trust your intuition. Observe subtle changes in energy, facial expressions, and tone. Feel the emotion behind their words. The more fully you engage, the deeper the connection you create. Leadership is not about being the loudest voice in the room; it’s about being the person who truly listens.

To carry forward

Next time you engage with someone, slow down and pay attention. Consciously observe their nonverbal reactions as they respond to your words. Notice if they mirror your phrasing, repeat key ideas, or express acknowledgment beyond words. These signals are your feedback, they show you’re connecting and that your listening is making an impact. Use these cues to guide your leadership, build trust, and strengthen relationships.

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